What are humorous stories?
Humorous stories are those which we tell to bring certain humor and fun and thereby catch the impression of the audience. Not all stories are humorous in nature but there are some funny stories in English that are humorous and most of the time, this depends on the way we narrate a story to others, the style we use in our tone, the nature of audience around us and overall one needs to have a knack to narrate humorously.
Here I am giving a collection of 16 humorous stories in English which are quite funny and all characters are witty in nature and can be told to students around. These collection of humorous stories can be a part of education in school or can be told to kids at home. Children really enjoy listening to a story than reading from a book. So enjoy these good humor stories and practice a lot how to tell.
Here are few tips to tell humorous stories before you read them.
- Make sure you don’t give long pause and gaps while telling a humorous story.
- Modulate your voice properly while telling these stories.
- Think with fun and have a funny mind set up while telling these stories.
- Make eye contact with everyone over there sitting and listening to you.
- Know the level of English of the people whom you are telling humorous stories. Adjust your language simple to medium.
Having learned these few tips about funny stories in english wikipedia , now start reading these humorous stories. These funny long stories in english can be very well told as long humorous stories with a moral or can be used as short funny stories for kids. If you want to tell any story in English with moral and short humor, you can use these short funny stories. English stories for students are a part of learning also. So why can’t you use these long humorous stories with a moral as a part of learning and teaching. Each humorous story is written in English that is simple to read and understand. Here are both short and long funny stories with morals in english that are filled with humor.
I have also included here 3 long funny stories with morals in case if you want to tell them the long humorous stories in English for more time. These humor short stories are very interesting to tell friends in a conversation. Who does not like funny stories in English with wit and humour stories? Everybody likes them. Right? So take a chance by telling at least one funny story in English that is enticing. One can use these funny stories in english with moral for telling in a class or school.
Telling Short stories humorous filled are a kind of getting others interest wherever you are. I have also given short and small humorous stories if you want to tell quickly. If you are a teacher for 10th class project, read here 5 children related humorous stories in English for class 10 project which one cannot find in books. Who else need the humorous tales to tell?
The language used here is English. It also consists of humorous short story. These Humorous short stories in English can be understood by everyone. I can call this set of 16 as best humorous stories wikipedia. Use this set of humorous stories for high school students.
The moral of the humor stories are funny and there is a kind of implication in each humorous story. Fun swings back again and again. You will not find these stories in books rather only on this page exclusively.
The given short humorous stories are best ones that can influence student. There are jokes with in every story. Some are american stories and some are Indian stories. Here are 16+ funny story in english with pictures. Among this three are short humorous stories. The full humorous stories list is written exclusively by me and not taken anywhere else.
Humorous short stories and long stories of humor are always a good read. But what brings humor is to tell new and unheard stories. Here are 16 humorous stories with funny characters that are rarely told by any teacher or parent to their students or kids.
- The Architect
- Boys and Girls
- The Crying Child
- Lunch Box
- Buying a Land
- A fall of ceiling fan
- One Step Further
- Learning for wisdom
- An Office Boss
- Hilarious dream
- A story of Mesut
- Husband’s Plot
- The man with a scar
- The open window
- Funny Fish in the Sea
Humorous Stories in English
Introduction: The Architect is one of the humorous stories in English that tells about an American who is on a visit to a city and the experiences that he undergoes over there.
Story: An American architect was visiting London. He was on a business trip but he also wanted to see all the famous buildings in London. The American did not have much time so he stopped a taxi and asked the driver to take him to all the old and famous buildings in London, The taxi driver drove him to the Tower of London.” This is the Tower of London. It was a prison in the old days,” he said.
The American looked at the building and said humorously,” It is so small. In America, we could build this in a day.” The taxi driver took the American to Westminster Abbey. He said with humor,” This is a famous church. Kings and queens get married here.” The American looked at the old building and said, “Huh. In America we could build this church in two days,” The driver decided to take the American to a bigger church so he drove him to St Paul’s Cathedral.
He stopped outside the church and said,” This is the most famous church in England. The great architect Christopher Wren built this church.” The American got out of the taxi and looked at the church,” Huh, In America, we could build this church in three days.” he said.
Next, the driver took the American to the Houses of Parliament.” This is where British politicians meet. “Huh.” the American said. “We could build this in four days.” The driver drove past Buckingham Palace, the home of Queen Elizabeth. As the taxi passed the palace, the American said, “Hey. What is this big and beautiful building” The taxi driver looked at the palace and humorously said,
“……………………………………..” (Check below for answer)
I don’t know. It wasn’t there this morning.
Boys and Girls
Introduction: Boys and Girls is a humorous story in English to read and tell others. It all starts about Amanda and her birthday celebrations. What happens while the celebrations are going on is this story all about.
Story: Amanda Gardener was eighteen. Her parents decided to have her birthday party in a hotel. About two hundred people came to the party. An old woman was staying in the hotel. She heard the music and came into the party room. The young boys and girls were dancing in the middle of the room. The old lady sat down and watched. Then she said, “When I was young, parties were different.
It was very easy to tell who was a boy and who was a girl. Today it’s very difficult to tell who is a boy and who is a girl.” The person sitting next to her said nothing. The old lady continued, “When I was young, boys wore trousers and girls wore dresses. Look at that girl over there. She’s wearing boy’s jeans”. The person sitting next to her said nothing. The old lady continued,” When I was young, boys had short hair and girls had long hair, so it was very easy to tell who was a boy and who was a girl.
That girl’s hair is very short. It’s a boy’s haircut.” The person sitting next to her listened to this humorous narration and said nothing. Then the old lady said, “Do you think she is a boy or a girl? It is very difficult to tell, isn’t it?” The person sitting next to her said,” No. It is very easy for me because that girl is my daughter.” The old lady was very embarrassed and she said, “Oh dear, I’m sorry. I didn’t know you were her father.” The person sitting next to her replied in a humorous way,
“……………………………………..” (Check below for answer)
I’m not her father. I’m her mother.
Humorous Stories in English for class 10 project
The Crying Child
Introduction: The crying child is a good story among many humorous stories in English for class 10 project that tells about a cute baby who is in a pram. What this baby does funnily is what the story about.
Story: One Sunday a young father was walking through the park. He was pushing a pram. There was a very young baby in the pram and it was crying loudly. The young father said softly,” Take it easy, Martin. Keep calm, Martin. Control yourself, Martin.” The young rather walked on but the child cried louder. The father stopped and took a Teddy bear out of a bag. He gave it to the child.
He said funnily,” Take it easy, Martin. Keep calm, Martin. Control yourself. Martin. “The young father started
to push the pram again. After a few minutes, the child began to cry. It cried louder and longer. The father put his hand into his pocket and took out some chocolate. He gave a piece to the child and said softly, “Take It easy, Martin, Keep calm, Martin. Control yourself. Martin.” The young father walked on. Three minutes later the child started to cry. It cried louder and louder and louder. The father took the baby out of the pram and held it in his arms. He said softly.” Take it easy, Martin.
Keep calm, Martin. Control yourself, Martin.” The child did not stop crying. It cried louder and louder. An old woman was watching her father. She walked across to the young father and she smiled. She said, “You are doing very well, young man. You talk to the child with a calm and quiet voice.” The old woman looked at the child and said, “What’s wrong, Martin. Why are you crying?” The father said quickly with fun……
“……………………………………..” (Check below for answer)
I’m Martin. The baby’s name is Paul.
Introduction: This is a practical unusual humorous short story for class 10 project with a picture of carriage box. He wants chicken curry in his lunch box. What mom does is all about you are going to read. You can use this story for for class 9 also
Story: Once there lived a schoolboy who wanted a lunch box with the chicken inside of it. But mom told not to have it in front of the school children that way.
But the boy was adamant to carry chicken fry and eat in the school during lunch.
Mommy then prepared chicken and placed it into the lunch box. Then the lunchtime has arrived and the schoolboy tries to open the lunch box and there the boy listens to a sound that is strange.
When the boy completely opened the carriage box, he saw a chicken flying like a kite. It jumped on the boy and started making the sound of a chicken.
All the other school children gathered around him and played with the doll. All appreciated how the chicken doll could make the original sound of a chick. They are all laughing humorous way.
Then the schoolboy never asked his mommy to keep chicken fry for the lunch box….. ha ha ha…..
Humorous Stories for high school students
Buying a land
Introduction: These are humorous stories for high school students that tell about a funny guy who wants to buy Eiffel Tower and makes this monument his own property. Read this funny story just for humor. This story can be told to high school students to make them aware of the deceitful people around the world.
Story: Once an illiterate man from India went to Paris for buying land and settle down happily in life. As he was around the Eiffel tower, a person approached him to sell his land.
Indian is very happy for the sudden opportunity that the man has offered. Indian asked about the details of the land.
The French man replied by showing the Eiffel tower that the land where the tower is standing.
Indian was amazed at that. He asked, ” are you selling Eiffel tower to me?” The French replied, “Yes it is mine.” Then the Indian instantly took out the money and bought the Eiffel tower. The French man left.
Later, the Indian is sitting over there in front of the Eiffel tower and claiming that the tower is his own. All laughed at him humorously and told that he was abnormal with the behavior.
Now, police entered into the scene and asked India to vacate the place but in vain. All took it humorous and funny.
But in the end, the Indian started showing the whole video of what exactly happened with the French man who cheated him badly.
Indian cleverly recorded every conversation through a secret camera.
Now that the evidence is strong towards the French man, Police took immediate action and at the end, the Indian left Paris and came back to India. hahaha…… ( Do you love these humorous stories?)
Fall of ceiling fan
Introduction: This story can be very well told to high school students. This story is about hostel warden and Television watching. This story looks serious in the beginning and ends up with fun. This is short humorous story.
Story: There once lived a hostel warden with 15 students inside residing for a year. On one fine day, students requested the hostel warden to show a movie for entertainment. But the hostel warden replied funnily, saying what could fetch out of watching silly movies.
Students requested for the same twice but in vain. At the last, hostel warden agreed to show television in some other way. All are allowed only to watch English news only and not any movie. Students are frustrated with the situation and kept quite.
But the hostel warden goes into TV hall secretly every day and watch movies hours and hours. Students know it very well that the warden is just a man of words and not of action. So the students on one fine day went into the Tv hall and loosened the bolts of the ceiling fan under which the hotel warden sits.
One fine Tuesday, warden enters into TV hall to watch movies. He sits alone under the ceiling fan after switching it on. Then it so happens that the hanging fan falls on warden’s head straightly. The fan sits of warden’s head directly hitting him hard. He is rushed to a hospital.
Later, the warden realizes that this is the punishment he got for not allowing students to watch TV and sometimes movies. So he now allows all students to watch movies once on Sundays… The student laughed and all are filled with humor.. ha ha ha…
The humor in this story is that the warden’s fan falls to the place where he sits.
Humorous English Stories
One Step Further
Introduction: This is a humorous English story but with a moral. Having said this story is about a sweeper and manager in a movie theater.
Story: A sweeper working in a cinema theater was very punctual, regular, and committed to his duties. He would not just perform these duties, but would also look after the security of the theater.
Very often, he would be asked by the manager and the assistant manager to take over their duties, and they would often take leave from work.
This sweeper conducted their duties equally well, and never once cribbed about the additional work he had to do.
Once, the owner of the theater came in for a surprise check and inquired about the upkeep of the theater when the manager and the assistant manager were not around. The sweeper replied…
- What was the sweeper’s humorous reply?
- What is the implication of this humorous story?
“I do, Sir”, the sweeper replied. Hearing his answer, the sweeper was instantly made the new manager of the theater.
The world needs go-getter- people who produce results. When you produce results you get accepted by society, irrespective of your caste, creed, color and even your qualifications.
The world is looking for a man of devotion and commitment. Be committed to what you are expected to do, and go one step forward to do some extra work to become more successful in your life.
Learning for wisdom
Introduction: This is learning based humorous English story combined with wisdom.
A company once recruited two employees, equally competent and intelligent but from different backgrounds.
While employee A was stylish, humorous, confident, and he graduated from the country’s best institution, employee B was always considered the wiser of the two and often given better opportunities.
Employee A was upset and asked the President of the company why he was considered less wise when he was definitely more learned than B The President’s answer made A understand the real perspective of life.
What was the President’s answer?
What is the implication of this story?
Acquiring knowledge by reading books and listening to lectures is passive and external.
This is only borrowed stuff. “Reading the book that is you” involves the process of thinking imagining, visualizing, deciding, etc.
These processes are active and internal.
They are original and creative. The world has been able to make scientific and technological progress only through the efforts of the people who could visualize and imagine.
Long humorous stories with a moral
An Office Boss
Introduction: An office boss is a long humorous stories with a moral that can be used in speeches and elocution. This is an interesting story of how boss can handle things in office but with fun.
Story: Remember that the below humor story is completely new and never told anywhere. This one can be used as humorous stories in English for class 10 project. These humor stories are funny long stories in English. Enjoy now reading………
Look, I’m not the only person ever to have had a terrible boss. I know that plenty of people have to deal with nasty, entitled snobs who parade fake Rolexes on their brittle wrists, judging their workers for their cheap clothes when they’re the one who sets the wages. Others spend their days listening to crotchety old employers complain about the laziness of modern youth while they expect qualified interns to tend to their every whim. Others spout off about how technology is “corrupting our minds” while sharing minion memes on Facebook on their work computer. I get it.
My boss, though? My boss was the worst. Mr. Rankin had a hot temper and a mean streak a mile long. He enjoyed nothing more than screaming at his employees about meaningless things: deadlines missed that he had never actually set, non-existent dress code violations… really comic stuff. He particularly liked trying to see how quickly he could get new employees to cry. Everyone hated him, but nobody knew what to do.
It wasn’t just the cruelty – he was also a drunk. Every day he would leave on an “extended lunch” and come back smelling of alcohol, slurring his insults as he retired to his office to waste the afternoon playing solitaire on his computer. He loved to pass himself off as something of a connoisseur, spouting names of different fancy vodkas to show how cultured and wealthy he was. Personally, I thought they all tasted like paint stripper.
So, obviously, I had to get my revenge. The time came – about four years too late if you ask me – to move on from my cubicle-based purgatory to a whole new frontier of employment… I got a job in the building next door. The pay was about the same, and the responsibilities were inconsequential, leaving me less of a cog in the machine and more of a useless screw left over at the end of construction when nobody could figure out why it was in the box, but it would be away from Sir Useless the Arrogant.
Though the concept of giving “two weeks’ notice” – enough time for any competent boss to find a suitable replacement for me, and for mine to grumble at length about how ungrateful I was for leaving – rubbed me the wrong way, it also provided me with an opportunity. While Rankin wasted his time coming up with what he thought were witty insults, the effect ruined by how often he stumbled over the words, I concocted my plan. It took a few days, a few favors, and a whole lot more cash than I could really afford to spend, but eventually, I was ready.
The whole “fill someone’s office floor with cups of water” prank has been done to death. As much fun as it would have been to watch Rankin attempt to navigate his office without spilling anything, I knew that he would probably just force some intern to clean the mess up for him while he went to get drunk. Instead, I designed a prank that played right into his worst qualities. While he was stalking around the office floor, filling the place with discomfort and body odor, I snuck into his room and made my move. By the time I was done, there were hundreds of cups lining the place, but all were seemingly empty.
When Rankin got back from his daily tirade, I watched out of the corner of my eye as he took in the sight before him. His blotchy skin cycled through a whole range of colors – going from his usual jaundiced pallor to a deep scarlet, then purple-ish, then completely white. It was like he was an alien trying to figure out what the appropriate human response to this unfamiliar situation was.
Eventually, he settled on rage. This was what I had been banking on – the man had never learned how to manage his anger. I sat at my computer, typing away to pretend to be busy (though secretly just writing out every foul insult I could think of for my soon-to-be-former-boss) as I watched the scene unfold. Rearing back with a warbled, throaty cry full of mucus and fury, he swung out his flabby leg to kick the cups. They flung everywhere, with little other consequence, batting uselessly against the walls and his desk. He huffed, stepping forwards towards the middle of the room through the haphazard path he had cleared and lashing out again.
This was where things got interesting. At the center of the room, practically invisible among their hundreds of identical brothers, five cups were not like the other. Why? Because I had filled them to the brim with vodka. Not just any vodka, either – Rankin’s own supply, apathetically expensive brand that he kept displayed on his shelf as some kind of alcoholic status symbol. I figured it would be two birds with one stone – let him deplete his own supply of his favorite drink and cause the whole room (and his fake designer suit) to smell of the stuff for weeks to come.
What I didn’t bank on was him kicking the cups so hard that they flung into his computer. As the clear liquid splashed over the hardware, the hissing and smoke started up almost immediately. Then, with a sickening crack, the whole set-up (including his saved games of solitaire, with a high score he’d been working on for months) powered down.
Rankin stood, mouth hanging open uselessly as his trouser leg dripped vodka and he attempted to process what happened. I stood too, though he didn’t notice, and used the distraction to slip out of the building.
I left without a word, shooting a wink at the receptionist on my way. Technically, I guess I still had a day left of my two-weeks’ notice, but I figured he wouldn’t exactly be keen for me to come back.
Humorous stories in English for class 9 project
Introduction: Hilarious dream one of the great humorous stories in English for class 9 project that narrates about Jason who lives his life with some fun moments. This humorous short story which can be used for middle school, project work, for seniors and in church.
Story: For all of Jason’s life, people had told him he could make it as a singer. There was a brief period where he didn’t believe them and took it as fun and humor– childhood naivety melting into teenage self-deprecation – but it was short-lived. Mostly, he knew that the stage was where he belonged. For years, he kept his nose to the grindstone. Working as a waiter in Los Angeles, he chased every potential opportunity he could. None bore fruit.
Eventually, it became clear that California was not going to be the launching point of his career. Like so many twenty-something-year-olds before him, feeling empty directionless settle over him like a bad taste sticking to the roof of his mouth, he set out to travel. Maybe, he thought, a road trip would help him figure out what he was doing. Of course, like so many twenty-something-year-olds before him, his road trip took him directly to Las Vegas. The city of sin was practically custom-built for lost young men seeking answers at the bottom of a cup or pile of poker chips.
It was also custom-built to drain them of their funds as quickly as possible. Jason was no exception. Penniless within a week, he gratefully took the first job he could. There was something kind of exciting about working as an Elvis impersonator – it was so classic to the Last Vegas culture. He felt like part of the scenery. Plus, now that officiating (and singing at) weddings as part of his day job, he got to hear all sorts of interesting stories… Very few people, as it turned out, planned to marry in Vegas. He wasn’t sure how many times he said: “You may now kiss the bride” to men who had only met the woman in question a couple of hours prior.
He was sure that he didn’t want to know. He liked entertaining the romantic ideal of love at first sight, whether or not it would have been more accurately described as “love at fifth whiskey”. Sometimes he pretended that the couples were soulmates, bowled over by their connection and determined to make it official as quickly as possible. Other times, he pictured them as childhood sweethearts and long-time lovers, running away to get married to avoid the pressures of daily life. No matter what story he concocted for the newlyweds, he always put on an impressive show.
The problem was that what was originally intended as a stepping stone – a job to keep him afloat while he sought fame and fortune under his own name – eventually became his entire career. He was good at it! Though nobody had remarked on his appearance is similar to the real Elvis before, as soon as he put the costume on and impersonated the voice, the resemblance was uncanny. He quickly moved from smaller chapels to larger ones, the money increasing in tangent.
That’s when the comments started. At first, they appeared to be jokes:
“Are you sure you’re not the real Elvis?”
“Elvis Presley has left heaven!”
But they quickly grew more serious. A sneaky video taken during one of his performances and a blog post going viral was all it took for a genuine conspiracy theory to form: the real Elvis Presley was alive and well, impersonating himself. Suddenly, people were turning up not to get married by a novelty impersonator, but to meet the real Elvis Presley.
Jason didn’t have the heart to turn them away. As more and more tourists arrived, taking photos with him and gushing through his performances, the line between himself and the King of Rock ‘n’ Roll seemed to fade away. He memorized all the catch-phrases and dance moves, forgoing his own Hard Metal preferences in favor of the swinging style of decades past.
He learned to answer to the name “Elvis”, often forgetting to answer to “Jason” at all. Soon he was accidentally using the voice in phone calls with his parents, or in the line at the bank. Eventually, he stopped apologizing for it. When not in costume, he found that his regular clothes were suddenly widening at the ankle and narrowing at the hips.
His real hair – lighter than Presley’s, but not by much – seemed to settle itself into a quiff. Whether this was by his own subconscious action or his own hair follicles giving in to the idea that he and Elvis were one and the same, it was difficult to tell. Either way, it wasn’t long before walking down the street became nearly impossible without getting countless weird looks and at least a few requests for pictures.
All the while, his professional popularity increased. So did the rumors. His twitter feed blew up, his mentions full of demands for answers as to how he had possibly returned from the dead.
That was how he found himself here. In front of a crowd, wiggling his pelvis for all he was worth as he sweated beneath his wig. His white jumpsuit stuck to him in all the wrong places, the lycra itching where he wasn’t able to scratch.
His knuckles were white around his microphone as he clenched it, looking out at the thousands of people in front of him. They were largely middle-aged, often older, but screaming at the sight of him as if they were teenagers. A bra hit him square in the face, tossed from the crowd. He decided not to wonder which audience member was responsible.
Instead, as “Jailhouse Rock” began to play, he wondered how he could have achieved a life so close to his dream, and yet so far.
A story of Mesut
Introduction: Mesut is a short story of great humor for all sects of life. You can use this story to tell a girl or boy friend or your crush. Just make sure to tell in a way it should be told.
Story: Mesut was pretty sure that waking up while someone attempted to murder you in your sleep and responding by immediately punching the intruder in the face was at least a semi-sensible strategy, but the vampire standing in front of him appeared to disagree.
“Ow! What are you playing at!?”
“Who are you?!”
“That really hurt! Am I bleeding?” The creature tipped its head back to show him the underside of its nose – the skin was unmarred, as pale as the rest of its face.
“What are you doing in my house?!”
“No, really. I think I’m bleeding. I can feel blood. Is there blood?”
“No, there’s no blood! Can vampires even bleed? Are you here to kill me?!”
“How do you know I’m a vampire?”
“Your skin is completely white, you’re wearing a cloak and I can literally see your fangs. Will you please explain why you’re here?!”
The creature looked offended, finally letting go of its nose and frowning at Mesut. It seemed to forget its supposed pain quickly as the shock of the blow wore off. “Those are pretty offensive stereotypes. Sharp teeth and pale skin don’t make me a monster.”
“Are you telling me that you’re not a vampire trying to suck my blood?”
“Well, yes, I am a vampire, and I am here to suck your blood. I’m just saying you should be more careful with your assumptions.”
Upon hearing the confirmation of the creature’s intentions, Mesut pulled his fist back once more, ready to land another blow. He didn’t know it was possible for a man with completely white skin to blanch, but the vampire somehow managed it. “Woah, Woah Woah! I think we got off on the wrong foot here. Can we put a pin in the violence for a minute?”
“You just told me you were here to kill me!”
“Okay, yes, good point. I did do that. Obviously, I wasn’t expecting you to wake up. Three hundred years I’ve had this gig and not once has a victim noticed me before I bit them. You really threw a spanner in the works, mister.”
Mesut shook his head, utterly bemused by the sight of a classic fairy-tale monster standing in front of him and looking nothing short of sheepish. He let his fist drop to his side, useless.
“Thank you. Now, I’m just going to go on my merry way, so perhaps we can just chalk this encounter up as a weird night for both of us and never speak of it again.”
“You’re not going to kill me?”
“Frankly, child, I’m more scared of you killing me.” With that, its figure began to slowly shrink and blacken, wings forming from what were once humanoid limbs.
“Wait!” cried Mesut, unwilling to let this conversation end with so many questions left hanging.
The transformation halted, the vampire hovering as a half-bat-half-human monstrosity. It raised an eyebrow at him, though the effect was diminished somewhat by the fact that its head was three times smaller than its body. When it spoke, the words were legible but slightly garbled, as if the tongue was as stuck between the two states as the rest of it. “Yes?”
“Aren’t you, like, super strong?”
“I’m allergic to sunlight, boy. How much vitamin D do you think I get on any given day?”
“Not very much.”
“Right. How strongly do you think my bones are, then?”
“Now you’re getting it. Plus, we only drink the blood that’s already been around your body. The dark, rich stuff. The freshly pumped juice is just way too salty. Gotta wait for your body to dilute it. It takes all the salt out when the blood goes round to your brain, but it also takes out all the other vitamins. I’m kind of deficient in everything.”
“Right… okay, bu-”
“Plus, your blood is full of cholesterol! My diet is basically nothing but milkshakes, it’s a walking nightmare.”
“I see. That’s… actually really sad. Can you not eat anything else? Is it just garlic you can’t stomach?”
“It’s all food. No nutrients, no sunlight, and we spend half our lives inside coffins. You’re really that surprised that we’re no good in a fight?”
“I suppose it makes sense. Are you… alright? Can I do anything? It just seems like your life must be kind of awful.” Mesut wasn’t sure when he had begun to feel sympathy for the creature before him, but there was no denying that it cut a pretty pathetic figure. Realizing that its paleness was less evidence of some undead magic and more of it just being anemic kind of put a new perspective on things.
The vampire looked up hopefully, its eyes wide in a way that would almost be cute if it were fully human or fully bat, but which was instead purely horrifying. “You could let me suck your blood?”
“Something besides that. I could get you some supplements, or something? Like from a doctor?”
At this point, the vampire rolled its eyes, shifting its form back into its previous humanoid configuration. “Pills are like food. Can’t swallow them. It’s got to be blood.”
“I get you. Hey, what’s your name? I’m Mesut.”
“Yes, I know, I saw your driving license when I went through your wallet. I’m Rafael.”
“You went through my wallet?”
“Yes. Crypt decorations don’t pay for themselves. Oh, that reminds me-” it threw a handful of notes in Mesut’s direction. They fluttered to the ground, spreading out under the influence of the breeze. “You’ll be wanting those back, I guess.”
“Yes, I want those back! Are you kidding me? You stole from me?”
“I was going to kill you! You weren’t going to need it.”
“This is ridiculous. You have got to find a better business model than attacking people stronger than you, hoping they don’t wake up, and pickpocketing them.”
“Well, when you put it like that, it sounds ridiculous.”
“Get out of my apartment.”
“Nobody would believe me.”
“You won’t tell anyone about this, right?”
“You have my gratitude, Mesut. In your hour of need, the protection of the Vampires will be on your side.” With that, the creature morphed fully into a bat, fluttering out of the window from whence it came.
Mesut sighed. “I think I’d be better off without it.”
Wit and humour stories in English
Introduction: This is a story in English that fills with lot of wit and humour. It is about a husband who plots against his wife. Have a good read.
A man hates his wife and he wants to “play” her dead, just to play the scrabble words ‘dead’ or ‘kill’. But he hasn’t got the right letters to play one of these words. So he wants to tease her by playing some other words. Like ‘quake’, ‘zaps’ and ‘cheating’. But that doesn’t matter to her. So when she has the correct words she kills him.
Twist: The man wants to kill his wife with the words of scrabble but after all his wife kills him with the word of scrabble.
- I think that the two people are husband and wife because he calls her wife.
- I think they dislike each other because he says he hates her.
- I think the story takes place in the summer and that they are at home because it is a blistering hot Sunday afternoon and all he can think of to do with his life is to play Scrabble.
- I think they are playing the game because they are bored. The reason why I think so is that he says all he can think of to do with his life is to play Scrabble.
Read the following statements and decide whether they are true (T) or false (F).
It is a hot day and the husband is falling behind in the game. (True)
He is in a bad mood because his wife prefers playing scrabble to going out. (True)
The husband has the habit of chewing on the tiles while playing. (True)
II. Why does the husband feel pleased when he plays the word ZAPS?
His wife gets a static shock off the air conditioning unit.
III. What is the eight-letter word the husband plays that enables him to come from behind and lead in the game? What does the word tell us about his action?
The eight-letter word that his husband plays that enables him to come from behind and lead in the game is ‘cheating’. He stole a blank tile from the letter bag, he is cheating.
IV. Name the three words which make things happen and which lead the husband to think the game is controlled by some evil power.
a. Explodes b. Cheating c. Zaps
V. What happens to the husband when his wife plays the word DEATH?
The room starts to shake, the husband grasps with surprise and vindication, and the B that he was chewing on gets lodged in his throat.
According to the story, the husband:
Really wants to murder his wife Is hot, tired and bored
Is frightened his wife will beat him at Scrabble again
The words in the tiles that the husband plays:
- Convince him to kill his wife
- Prove that the heat is driving him mad
- Show his internal struggle with his own feelings
- The quake at the end of the story:
a. Is real and causes him to swallow the tile and die
b. Is the sound of the air conditioning until falling again
c. Is not a quake but the fact that his wife has won
The theme of the story is, in our opinion, anger. We think this because the husband is very angry about everything his wife does.
The Man with a Scar
The man with the scar is a Deputy General by profession. He is in the Palace Hotel in Guatemala. He sells lottery tickets. He looks like a businessman and he came in a conversation with a companion. He told him that he was upset about the government. He was convicted by court-martial and was sentenced to death for the firing squad.
Then they sat in a cell playing poker. The man with the scar had no luck. Then they were led to the patio. The prisoners could ask a question.
The man with the scar asked if he could see his wife and he could smoke a cigarette. He got the cigarette and after a while came to his wife. Then he grabbed a knife out of his pocket and he slashes her throat. He killed her because he loved her. Then he was set free and he did not have to be executed.
The plot twist is that he killed his wife and that he was set free. Now he must live life with the pain that he killed his wife.
1. This is a so-called frame story, it is the story proper is put within another story. For both stories please give the settings and the names of the principal characters.
The frame story takes place in the Palace Hotel in Guatemala City. The names of the principal characters in the frame story are the General (the man with the scar), the narrator (I-person) and the acquaintance of the narrator.
The story takes place in jail (goal). The names of the principal characters in the story proper are the five prisoners, one of them is the general (the man with the scar), the wife of the general, the soldiers, the ADC, etc.
2. How does the rebel general (the man with the scar) appear in the frame and how in the story proper? Mention outward appearance, occupation, habits.
In the frame story is the rebel general (the man with the scar) a dirty, drunk, fat and tall man. And he has his scar.
In the story, proper is the rebel general (the man with the scar) slim, not drunk and he does not have his scar.
3. What, according to the rebel general, was the reason why he killed his wife?
The reason, according to the rebel general, why he killed his wife was because he loved her and he did not want his wife to live without him.
4. What was San Ignacio’s reaction?
San Ignacio thought it was a noble gesture and he led him to the frontier, the rebel general (the man with the scar) was free.
5. How would a Dutch general have reacted do you think?
A Dutch general would have killed the rebel general (the man with the scar).
Humorous stories for kids
The Open Window
The below are humorous stories for kids whichare quite short but meaningful. Have a happy reading.
Mr. Nuttel visits some strangers who would help him with his nerve cure. A Young lady said, that her aunt will be down here very soon, Meanwhile, I would.
The young lady asked him if he knew many people in the neighborhood. When Mr. Nuttel gave his answer, the niece knew that he didn’t know her aunt. The niece started to tell Mr. Nuttle about her aunt’s tragedy.
In the room that they were waiting in, a French window stood open. The niece told Mr. Nuttel that the window stood always wide open, even on October afternoon, because of her aunt’s tragedy. 3 years ago her husband and 2 brothers went off for the day’s shooting, but they never came back. Their bodies were never found. Poor aunt always thinks that they will come back someday, they and the little brown spaniel, and walk-in at that window just as they used to.
Then the aunt came in and apologized for being late. She said: I hope you don’t mind the open window, my husband and brothers will be home directly from shooting, and they always come in this way.
When after a talk the husband and brothers came in, Frampton Nuttle grabbed his stick and hat and ran away.
The men that just arrived asked Mrs. Sappelton, the aunt, who the man was that ran away just when they arrived home. She said that it was a Mr. Nuttle and that it looked like he had seen a ghost.
I think It was the dog, he told me he was afraid of dogs, said the niece. Because he once was chased by dogs on a cemetery.
The plot twist is the moment that Mr. Nuttle ran away and the young girl tells another fake story.
1. Frampton Nuttel might have known that the story the niece told him was probably untrue. Write down two questions the niece asked to test his knowledge of her family.
‘Do you know many of the people around here?’
‘Then you know practically nothing about my aunt?’
2. ‘’Nuttel’’ is a telling name, that is, it tells you something about the bearer of that name.
What does it suggest?
Nuttel has nuts in it and nuts means crazy. So Mr. Nuttel is crazy / not well in his mind.
3. ‘’Vera’’ is also a telling name. Here, however, it is used ironically. Please explain.
Vera is from VERITAS and that is Latin for the truth, this is used ironically because Vera is lying.
4. What sentence or passage tells you it is not unusual for Vera to tell a tall story without preparation?
When she tells about the dogs. ‘Romance at short notice was her specialty
The Return to Paradise
Introduction: This is a funny story with moral and can be told in Church or can be delivered in sermon or speech.
Story: Lisa stayed and looked over the Caribbean Sea, feeling the faint breeze against her face, she was married to James 3 Years ago right here where she is standing.
At that moment she was very happy when with James. But after 3 years she is here in the Caribbean Sea has taken divorce with James one year back. When she is standing nearby sea there and looked at the See, she saw a strange man who looked at her.
When he begins talking to her they talked about their lives. Finally, Lisa found a man who understood her but after a while, she discovered that the man who she is talking to is James himself. They decided to start a new future and to begin a new life.
The twist in this short humorous story is that at the end the strange man is James and they cut off the divorce to start over life again.
Funny Fish in the Sea
Introduction: I have written this humorous story exclusively for kids. Tell this humor story to any kid and he will enjoy. Is is about a lonely fish in a sea.
Story: There lived a funny fish in the sea. It is very clever. One day the other group of fish fixed a meeting to solve the problems of seafood. They are gathered together and the funny fish speaking to the group has told that food is becoming a difficult task for all of us. It is because due to the climatic condition outside. Human beings are disturbing the climate and atmosphere and thus affecting seawater and consequently food.
The other group members asked or suggestions about this. The funny fish told humorously ” Better we do not worry all about, but try to be satisfied with what we have and try to improve the resources to a good level.
All laughed at funny fish for not giving the solution. Funny fish also told that if this meeting is not ended now I will eat every one of you right now. I have a big fish friends. Shall I call them ” Funny fish said” All the group member fled everywhere?
On the second day, again all fish discussed to confront the finny fish for not co-operating with the sea issues. Then the group members planned a plot They wanted to kick the fish out from the part of the sea and send to the other part.
Then they all made one group to drive the funny fish from the community. When the confronted funny fish, Funny fish brought lots of food and told everyone that she kept that food for them and wanted to share. This way everyone could make up their hungry levels.
Now all ate that food and they regretted being made a plot to kick funny fish out of the community. The funny moral is that we must adjust to what we have and understand the affection and humanity of others. Sharing with what we have is important. The limitlessness must be fought.
Useful websites for more humorous stories: